tuesday night.

when b came home, i was dizzy and slightly cross-eyed from trying to manage this week's schedule. i tried to explain how i felt...
me to b: i feel like i'm an administrative assistant in a large corporation or something. it's crazy.
b (without missing a beat): we are a large corporation.
well, that would explain why i feel that way then!
the funny thing is that when we decided to stop homeschooling this year, i truly thought it would be some sort of break for me. i expected a lull in the day and to feel capable in completing household chores. i imagined this beautiful world where i lovingly engaged my two little ones in the morning with educational games and then embraced my two older ones in the afternoon as i greeted them home from school with a big smile and warm cookies. :) do you see how i might have set myself up for a little disappointment? what i'm coming to realize is that life with four kids is busy. (actually, i think life as any sized family is busy.) when we homeschooled, our day was really hectic from first thing in the morning, until mid-afternoon. now, my busy times have reversed... it is really hectic from about noon until bedtime. but, i'm settling into the idea that this is my reality no matter what our educational choices. six schedules to maintain. six mouths to feed. five people that i want to love well. four little ones that i want to read to everyday. six people's laundry to do ALL THE TIME. four children that i want to give rich experiences to like music, art, sports, service, and clubs. it's full to say the least.
but, honestly, except when i'm pouting and complaining, i feel so happy and thankful to have this fullness. my heart overflows...
especially when i'm making "delicious" dinners for them...

when brian got home tonight, he took all the kids for a bike ride while i made dinner. nice. i always feel proud when i actually make dinner. of course, when i notice the family isn't really devouring it, the pride goes out the window. tonight, we had over-cooked turkey cutlets. (how do i avoid things like this?... they're just so darn thin!)
at the table...
oliver: this meat is so hard it's like it's 20 years old or something.
me: you still have to eat it. it helps make your teeth strong.
(this kid has serious meat issues. he's kept a piece of meat in his mouth for more than an hour before. so, needless to say, it helps when the meat is nice and tender.)
i think my new goal is going to teach the kids to cook really well so i can just delegate this responsibility!