one girl.

i have one daughter

among three sons.

i spend a good amount of time trying to figure out how to raise her.

how to be her mother.

i don't have to concentrate to love her.

that's built in.

but i do have to think about what it means to be a girl in this world.

(not that i don't have to think just as much about the boys)

but when i've read half the sky.

and when i've read growing strong daughters

i'm forced to see that things are different for girls in this world.

(i highly recommend both books.)

and then there is this particular girl of mine.

the one who is more than just a girl.

the one i know well.

i know her sensitive.

her sweet.

her silly.

her furry.

her calm.

her creative.

her questions.

and i want to know who she in particular will be.

we are engaging some rough waters lately~

abigail is struggling with many fears and frustrations.

there have been days where both of us are quite undone by the emotions and events.

but as her mom,

i want to do everything i can to help her.

i want to see her as she really is~ 

not as i want her to be 

nor as some make believe perfection of a person.

and i think that is the tricky part of parenting.

knowing how to open our eyes and really see our kids.

and spending our lifetimes getting to know them.

these pictures helped me to see her now.

at seven.

i took a quick series of her sitting in a chair in our living room.

and when i see them...

i see all of her.

i'm privileged to be her mother.

and while i know i will fail her time and again,

my hope is that my love for her will cover those failings over and over.