life or death?

i was recently away at fifth grade camp

with nic and 60 other fifth graders.

we were on a tour at northwest trek

and i was struck by the contrast of these dying stumps

in an open field with the back ground of lively woods.

i have no idea why they are like that.

but i love the image.

and because i can't help but think of my life in analogy form

i immediately thought about

how often i choose to live in a very dull, death oriented way

like choosing activities to avoid and escape my life

and choosing to complain about every little this and that.

 or choosing to live in a self oriented way.

consumed with my pleasure, my wealth, my happiness.

and pushing against those people and things that get in my way.

 this isn't life.

and honestly, when i live moments or days like that,

i can feel empty.

bored.

dissatisfied.

the very thing i'm longing for

-some sort of peace-

escapes me.

but when i have these other moments 

when i am able to rise above

this sort of death living,

i sense true

life

joy

peace 

settling into my soul.

when i choose to spend my life not on escape

or on self

(which happens less than i'd truly like)

when i choose to instead serve others

especially THE other,

i am acknowledging

my life is not my own.

it has been given as a gift

by the one who made

the trees,

the stumps,

the fields

and me.

he promises to give us life that is truly life.